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How To Say No // How To Ask For What You Want

  • 3F Studios 51 West 14th Street New York, NY, 10011 United States (map)

Sometimes saying "No" doesn't feel like the easiest route. What if you don't like something but don't want to scare someone away? Does consent talk take you out of sexy mode? As female identifying individuals, we have been conditioned by societal norms and gender roles to be accommodating and supportive of others needs. Acquiescing to others without checking in with ourselves and putting our wants and needs first. It's time to stop saying sorry.

Everyone has the right and capabilities to assure their safety both mentally and physically. Understanding consent is vital in sexual situations, but consent is only half of the battle. What do you when someone doesn't ask for your consent? What happens if this scenario is at a party? With a casual sex partner? Learning how to say "No" is more than just a reactionary approach. How do we dnderstand our triggers and boundaries and communicate this to a partner or lover? When do we give second chances and when do we call bullshit? We address guilt head on, tactics to prevent and reaffirmation to heal.

A new format for this class thought leaders will guide conversation in an opportunity to vent, seek support or simply be heard. A selection of questions and prompts coming out of a parallel workshop "But I'm One Of The Good Guys" will also be provided as discussion points during this workshop.

As former and current sex workers, the thought leaders for this workshop have to deal with defining and setting boundaries more often than the average human. Experiencing this in a vacuum, the thought leaders will lead discussion on navigating and preempting sexual harassment or boundary violations. These strategies lend themselves well to protecting oneself in relationships, casual sex, even street harassment.

The thought leaders will share personal stories and learnings as conversation points. They are there to question and offer perspective, not opinions. This is not a space to attack and correct behavior, but more a mancave to unpack aggression and sharing not-so-politically correct thoughts.

CIS-MALES are encouraged to come to this class. However they will have to be non-verbal and instead, listen for the entirety of the workshop. If they wish to ask questions to the panel they may do so at the end of the workshop.

**suggested donation $10-$20

Earlier Event: April 7
Couples Erotic Massage